Thursday, August 31, 2006

Confessions of a Hired Gun:
Being Bulletproof
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There is no dearth of articles philosophizing the craft of writing. Unfortunately, at least 97% of them have absolutely nothing to do with the act of writing. Instead, the vast majority focus on the mysteries of the creative process, the sundry neuroses that inhibit writers, the unreasonable demands of markets and 99 other problems that attempt to explain and rationalize why mediocre writers aren't published, much less paid.
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Why?
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Preaching to the choir is a hell of a lot simpler than converting the heathens.
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I fall into the latter category. I'm a freelance writer. I freely admit that every word I write is geared to a specific audience, and that audience changes with every new project. That doesn't mean I have no principles--it's merely a recognition that specific audiences read specific articles or stories geared to their specific tastes. Some would call me a writing whore ( in fact, some have) because I have no problem switching gears between fiction, criticism and copywriting. It's all the same to me-- stringing words together is what I do. It's just the mindset that changes. If that makes me a whore, so be it.
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I see it a bit differently. I prefer to think of myself as a hired gun. The qwertyuiop keyboard is my weapon of choice, words are my bullets and I never miss. That's the beauty of freelancing-- I'm afforded the luxury of deciding who my clients are, and just as importantly, who my targets are. As with everything else in life, there's a trade-off. When you're not beholden to any one special interest, it's easy to become a thorn in the side of all special interests, however noble your intentions may be.
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So how do you reconcile those conflicts? Do you wrestle with self- doubt and fears that you might actually piss off somebody? Or do you throw caution to whatever ill winds might come your way, and write what is exactly your gut is screaming for you to write?
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There isn't a pat answer. There are, however, a couple of clues that serve you well regardless of the idiom in which you're writing. First, you have to realize that the universe is not hanging on your every word. Your audience could give a rat's ass about your desire to alter civilization with that book that's in your head and you will one day actually write. They could care less about your personal turmoils and neuroses. They want to be entertained and/or informed.
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Period.
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You have to be bulletproof if you want to write for a mass audience. You're a constant target, and the trick is to keep the reader guessing where you're going next. The methods you utilize to pull off that trick are up to you. All that matters is that you connect to your audience. And that requires a willingness on your part to wear disguises at times. Obviously, it's difficult to inject a personal remark into a copywriting gig. But that's where the fun comes into play. It's also where we can work our own touch of personal subversion into everything we write.
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Years ago, I wrote a script for a training film for a fast food chain meant to instruct employess as to how to conduct an in-store birthday party. It was an assignment boring beyond words. To make a long story short, I turned it into a parade of cliches, with the lead character, Timmy, uttering the immortal words,"This is the best birthday ever!!" as we fade out.
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The client loved it--to the tune of a four digit payment for what I wrote as a satire. My perception of the script and their purchase if it were diametrically opposed, but they loved it, and I ate for another month, and slept without any pangs of conscience.
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Assignments like those leave me free to do what I want, to say what I think means something. Even at that, I still think in terms of reaching a global audience. Way back in the early1980's , I got it into my head that I could reconcile all the divergent aspects of pop culture in a single magazine. The resultant product was called Pulse ( subtitled"Tomorrow's Trends Today') and while it lasted only five issues, it opened myriad doors to me.
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I am by no means trying to tell people how to write here--there is no formula for that beyond the individual soul. I am going to tell you how to sell your work, though.
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Care to listen?
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Free and Legal Music Downloads Coming Soon--sorta...
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In what may signal a major shift in the recording industry's strategy, Universal Music Group announced Tuesday it plans to make its entire music catalogue available free to consumers as online downloads. . . sorta.
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On the surface, it appears to be a win-win situation for record labels plagued by declining CD sales and for an audience reluctant to buy music online. UMG is the world's largest music distributor, with a roster including the likes of U2, Kanye West and Mariah Carey. The deal they have inked with start-up Spiralfrog.com allows consumers to access and download UMG's entire library at no cost--provided they're willing to watch advertising as they download the music.
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It's a risky venture fraught with a number of caveats.
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Hoping to reach a core 13-34 year old demographic--a marketer's dream, and also the age group most likely to pirate music-- SpiralFrog is banking on the assumption that demographic will be willing to exchange their time for free music. It sounds logical enough, until a 90 second download time is figured into the equation, considerably longer than a download from itunes or other online retailers. In a target group not known for patience, that's an eternity.
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There are other issues as well. SpiralFrog downloads are not ipod compatible. While this may be a boon for Microsoft, who powers most other online music sites, such as Yahoo!, and is set to release its own "ipod killer," Zunes, later this year, the fact remains that Apple is the gold standard in online music. In addition, SpiralFrog will require users to use the site at least once a month, and it only allows storage on a hard drive or mp3 player--no CD burns. It's also rumored that downloads self-destruct after six months, requiring users of the service to download songs repeatedly.
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Other questions arise from a creative viewpoint--how willing will recording artists be to have their music associated with advertising over which they have no control? Politics and social issues are often inherent in pop lyrics. Even when they're not, they can be manipulated to fit into any context of an advertiser's desires.
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SpiralFrog chairman Joe Mohen brushes off all such concerns. "The currency e're using is time," he says, adding, "Webelieve that advertisers will pay to show those consumers ads, and that those payments will rival what companies get from iTunes andother online retailers."
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That may be, but doubts remain. Details of the agreement betwee UMG and SpiralFrog are undisclosed, and SpiralFrog's business plan is sketchy at best. A launch date has been set as "late 2006." The company claims to be in talks with other labels, such as Sony Bmg and Warner, but no commitments have been confirmed. Regardless, the basic idea may be implemented in a more fleshed out form by online retailers in the future.